by Deborah Cox | Aug 5, 2020 | anger, child maltreatment, cultural healing, parenting, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized
Bad Parenting and Misdirected Anger When I look at the global trend toward authoritarianism and fascism, I feel sick. Actually, I feel pissed. Did we learn nothing from the past hundred years? How do the most insecure, least competent, people come into such global...
by Deborah Cox | Jul 13, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, dissociation, getting grounded, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized
Empathy+Anger=Empathic Anger Empathic anger rises up in us when we see someone else being mistreated and we feel outrage on their behalf. We want to defend the person, protect them. Mirror neurons make us naturals at feeling the pain of others. I remember this most...
by Deborah Cox | Jul 5, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, getting grounded, Mood, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized
Selfish Anger? I recently saw a church flyer advertising its curriculum to help members deal with their anger. The minister quoted Frederick Buechner who called anger one of the seven deadly sins. “To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past . ....
by Deborah Cox | Jun 27, 2020 | anger, cultural healing, dissociation, getting grounded, parenting, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Relationships, Uncategorized
Dissociation Makes for Scary Anger I know you: You don’t want to hurt anybody, ever. But you grew up around someone who behaved irresponsibly when they were angry. You’d prefer take it out on yourself than be anything like that person. That person showed scary anger...
by Deborah Cox | Jun 22, 2020 | anger, Anxiety & Calm, cultural healing, EMDR, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Relationships, Uncategorized
The heart wants to forgive. No matter the offense or the offender, we desire the release of letting it go. Our need to forgive is universal and I believe clear, grounded anger bridges us from hurt to forgiveness. In other words, when we feel angry with the other, we...
by Deborah Cox | Jun 15, 2020 | anger, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized, Write and Heal
Anger Wisdom Means Knowing Our Triggers Here’s the beginning of one of my big anger triggers. When I was eleven, a younger kid who came to our house for violin lessons wanted to feed my little red swordfish. I warned him not to add any flakes because I’d just...
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