Deborah Cox Blogs

Boundaries and Compassion: Anger Wisdom, Part XXIV

How does anger help with compassion? Yesterday I talked with a friend who grasped, for the first time, how a family member had emotionally abused her. In about five minutes, she went from confused and ashamed . . . to angry, as she pieced together an incident in which...

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Listening to Children’s Anger: Anger Wisdom, Part XXIII

Remember being angry as a child? Children's anger deserves our attention. When I talk to adults about their childhood anger, they usually remember, but feel anxious talking about it. Sometimes they draw a complete blank. I definitely remember being angry as a kid, and...

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When Anger Corrodes: Anger Wisdom, Part XXII

When anger corrodes. Wait, does it? How can you tell when your anger morphs from a moment of clarity and self-protection to something else entirely? Anger has its destructive side . . . at least Ursula K. Le Guin believes it does. I reserve the right, at the end of...

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Exiting a Sick System: Anger Wisdom, Part XIX

How does anger help us exit sick systems? Anger helps us exit sick systems. How? Anger allows information processing, because it is a part of the learning curve. So, let’s look at how anger facilitates timely exit when we need it. First, sick systems tend to have...

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The Myth of Selfish Anger: Anger Wisdom, Part XIII

Selfish Anger? I recently saw a church flyer advertising its curriculum to help members deal with their anger.  The minister quoted Frederick Buechner who called anger one of the seven deadly sins. “To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past . ....

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