by Deborah Cox | Aug 26, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, dissociation, getting grounded, Reconceive, Relationships, Uncategorized
Fear of Narcissism Yesterday, I talked with someone who is deathly afraid of her anger. She said, “If I allow myself to express anger, I’m afraid I’ll be a narcissist.” I worry about this, too. But our fear of narcissism comes from a fundamental misunderstanding. We...
by Deborah Cox | Aug 23, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized, Wife Material
The Political is Personal The other night, I listened to Michelle Obama’s speech for the DNC, and I had a curious reaction. I felt so glad to see her, and at the same time, resentment. Everything she said made me cheer on one level; but on another level, feel...
by Deborah Cox | Aug 15, 2020 | anger, Anxiety & Calm, Becoming More of Your True Self, Coaching For the Therapist, cultural healing, dissociation, EMDR, Feel Better, getting grounded, Mood, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Relationships, Therapy, Uncategorized, Write and Heal
How does anger help us exit sick systems? Anger helps us exit sick systems. How? Anger allows information processing, because it is a part of the learning curve. So, let’s look at how anger facilitates timely exit when we need it. First, sick systems tend to have...
by Deborah Cox | Jul 13, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, dissociation, getting grounded, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized
Empathy+Anger=Empathic Anger Empathic anger rises up in us when we see someone else being mistreated and we feel outrage on their behalf. We want to defend the person, protect them. Mirror neurons make us naturals at feeling the pain of others. I remember this most...
by Deborah Cox | Jul 5, 2020 | anger, Becoming More of Your True Self, cultural healing, getting grounded, Mood, Reconceive, Relational Cultural Theory, Uncategorized
Selfish Anger? I recently saw a church flyer advertising its curriculum to help members deal with their anger. The minister quoted Frederick Buechner who called anger one of the seven deadly sins. “To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past . ....
by Deborah Cox | Jun 29, 2020 | anger, Anxiety & Calm, Becoming More of Your True Self, dissociation, Feel Better, getting grounded, Mood, Reconceive, Therapy
But what if I’m just mad at myself? I nearly always get this question from my clients. Who are you most angry with? I ask. 75% of the time, the answer comes back: I feel anger at myself. Angry with myself for not knowing better Mad at myself for thinking I could...
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