DEBORAH COX BLOGS
Self-EMDR for Trauma Recovery: Creative Self-Help to Calm Anxiety
The Art of Self-EMDR for Trauma Recovery can help you get started on your own EMDR therapy process.
Everything Is Love Pt. 2
It’s All Love, Part II We Never Stop Loving Think of someone who used to be your partner or your friend. Maybe this person was your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe this person was a best friend when you were younger. Maybe you were married to this person or trusted...
Everything is Love Pt. 1
Love is Everything Think of when you were younger and you wanted to be in love. Remember the dating, the hopes, the rejections, the euphoria, the heartbreak, the waiting and watching. What pictures come to mind? How do you feel about all of that now? Maybe, like me,...
Love is Self Care for Therapists
Relationship Self Care for Therapists When was the last time you applied your counseling skills to yourself to think about your own love life as a critical component of your self-care? Relationships form the essential bedrock of self-care. All the yoga and massage in...
Self Care for Therapists: The Relational Side
Why Relational Self-Care Matters to Your Work Do you think of your love life as a critical component of your self-care? If you’re like most of us, probably not. Let’s see . . . work out: check, sleep eight hours: check, feel close with someone I love? . . . Not so...
Reversing Helper Burnout by Coming Home to Ourselves
Health Practitioners in a Crisis of Disconnection Helper burnout creates disconnection of all kinds. As therapists (or other healthcare professionals), this kind of fatigue isolates us from our bodies, our creativity, our sense of meaning, and our intimate...
ReConceive Therapy: Co-Therapy for Everyone’s Nervous System
Sometimes solo therapy feels pretty bleak . . . A client tells you he has no emotion as he reveals his father’s suicide. Therapy fails to gain traction and he continues to not feel. Another client has an auto-immune disorder that started when she discovered her...
ReConceive Therapist Burnout
Burnout in helping professionals becomes a way of life. ReConceive podcast shows you how to reverse it.
ReConceive Podcast: BodyMind Therapy and Love
Body psychotherapy nurtures the link between moving and changing. Attention to the body allows love, learning, and healing from trauma.
The Other Pandemic: Bad Religion, Part I
So Many Sick People A sea of sick people. Not bad people. Just regular people who've joined at least one cult. I believe that bad religion, religious abuse, and spiritual trauma hurt the individual, the community, and the world. Right now, the United States has more...
Politics and the Sibling Bond: Anger Wisdom, Part XXVI
Sibling Political Anger I just spent a Saturday with my brother – after years of unspoken anger, political divisions, and very little contact. Three years my junior, he lives just twenty minutes away, Yet, we see each other perhaps once or twice a year. Michael and I...
Mindful Anger: Anger Wisdom, Part XXV
Mindful anger means experiencing the emotion in an: 1. awake, 2. deliberate, and 3. self-nurturing way. Let’s break this down a bit so we can see how to love ourselves through difficult moments. Last week, I had an experience that allowed me to practice this. The...
Boundaries and Compassion: Anger Wisdom, Part XXIV
How does anger help with compassion? Yesterday I talked with a friend who grasped, for the first time, how a family member had emotionally abused her. In about five minutes, she went from confused and ashamed . . . to angry, as she pieced together an incident in which...
Listening to Children’s Anger: Anger Wisdom, Part XXIII
Remember being angry as a child? Children's anger deserves our attention. When I talk to adults about their childhood anger, they usually remember, but feel anxious talking about it. Sometimes they draw a complete blank. I definitely remember being angry as a kid, and...
When Anger Corrodes: Anger Wisdom, Part XXII
When anger corrodes. Wait, does it? How can you tell when your anger morphs from a moment of clarity and self-protection to something else entirely? Anger has its destructive side . . . at least Ursula K. Le Guin believes it does. I reserve the right, at the end of...
Fear of Narcissism: Anger Wisdom, Part XXI
Fear of Narcissism Yesterday, I talked with someone who is deathly afraid of her anger. She said, “If I allow myself to express anger, I’m afraid I’ll be a narcissist.” I worry about this, too. But our fear of narcissism comes from a fundamental misunderstanding. We...
White Resentment: Anger Wisdom, Part XX
The Political is Personal The other night, I listened to Michelle Obama’s speech for the DNC, and I had a curious reaction. I felt so glad to see her, and at the same time, resentment. Everything she said made me cheer on one level; but on another level, feel...
Exiting a Sick System: Anger Wisdom, Part XIX
How does anger help us exit sick systems? Anger helps us exit sick systems. How? Anger allows information processing, because it is a part of the learning curve. So, let’s look at how anger facilitates timely exit when we need it. First, sick systems tend to have...
White Anger and Cultural Narcissism: Anger Wisdom, Part XVIII
What is Cultural Narcissism? Before we talk about White anger, we have to address cultural narcissism. Cultural narcissism, according to George Simon, includes all the ways a group or society tolerates, encourages, and promotes traits like: Excessive striving for...
Authoritarianism, Bad Parenting, and World Politics: Anger Wisdom, Part XVII
Bad Parenting and Misdirected Anger When I look at the global trend toward authoritarianism and fascism, I feel sick. Actually, I feel pissed. Did we learn nothing from the past hundred years? How do the most insecure, least competent, people come into such global...
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