Deepening our Relationships by Letting People Know Us

Yesterday, I had a conversation with friends about how we become known inside our relationships. Where and with whom can we be truly ourselves? How much do we share? What parts of ourselves do we keep hidden? Loneliness and social isolation pose serious health risks....

A Conversation about I and Thou

Remember the last time you worked a concession stand? You wore your team’s t-shirt and took money and gave out candy bars? Remember how odd it felt when people handed you their dollar bills without any eye contact? Like you’re the generic...

Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

I Write to Grow Up I struggle to differentiate, as we all do. Leaving home is a lifelong process, as described by Murray Bowen, the father of family systems theory. But writing my novel, Wife Material, about the process of leaving home, catapulted me forward. That’s...

Snap out of Trance and De-Zombie-fy (I & Thou, part 2)

I’ve been watching people turn into zombies all week in couples therapy. One woman said, I shut myself down so I won’t have to strangle him! Trance-induction is complicated. It robs us of moments, but it helps us avoid feelings we don’t want to have....
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