Why You Need a Higher Power Right Now

  I went through a hard-core atheist phase. In my 20s. I ran from organized religion and chafed at any mention of a higher power. This was it. Just the here and now. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade that liberation for anything. Throwing off all my childhood spiritual training meant tossing the baby AND the … Continue reading Why You Need a Higher Power Right Now

Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No

Repression: I once knew what this was and then I forgot. Last weekend, I attended the EMDRIA conference in Minneapolis where physician, Gabor Maté, spoke about the connections between trauma, emotional repression, and disease. He told the story of his Jewish infant self, crying all the time, in Hungary, 1944, just before the Nazi invasion. He quickly … Continue reading Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No

Notice Body-Mind Connections and Heal from Trauma

I used to fall a lot. On the sidewalk. In my yard. Up a flight of marble stairs. About seven years ago, after a string of bizarre falls where I ended up with scars on my shins and a pulled muscle in my back, I followed the trail of breadcrumbs and made a body-mind connection. … Continue reading Notice Body-Mind Connections and Heal from Trauma

Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt

  My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart . . . flying … Continue reading Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt

Hands are Not for Hitting: Let’s End Corporal Punishment

Hands are Not for Hitting (and not for Shoving, Slapping, Swatting, Pinching, Jerking, or "Spanking"). We read this book to my son when he was three. Hands help and love and wave goodbye. Hands paint and cook and communicate. But some adults still use their hands for corporal punishment of children. Maybe you know someone … Continue reading Hands are Not for Hitting: Let’s End Corporal Punishment

I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse

Something tells me I'm a very bad person.   Under the bridge.....beneath, “It’s my fault,” lives a more troubling idea...It hides in us like a troll under a bridge. Anyone who's survived religious abuse knows the old thought-training dies hard. Jim teaches art to high-schoolers. He lives with his wife of thirty years – the … Continue reading I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse

It Must be My Fault

“It Must be My Fault” Beth gets the guilt like a reflex if anything goes wrong…..Especially if it involves her partner or her kids. “If Stuart’s in a bad mood, I assume it has something to do with me.” She feels responsible for her divorce. “If I had been calmer and less upset, we might … Continue reading It Must be My Fault

I’m Thankful for You.

Every time I see you, I say a little prayer of thanks that you’re in my life. You help me more than you know. I’m thankful….. …..for the new ideas you bring to me. …..for your smiling eyes that greet me even though your heart is full of pain. …..for your honesty that inspires me … Continue reading I’m Thankful for You.

How to Deal with Dissociation

Dissociation takes us out of the moment. Yesterday, I stood in the MSU music building while my son warmed up for a violin performance. All around me, young pianists and violinists practiced their Chopin, their Mozart, in separate cubicles, getting ready to play for a judge. My husband sat near me in one of the … Continue reading How to Deal with Dissociation

How EMDR Therapy can help you have a great garage sale

Misbehavior #373: The Soul of Downsizing (Or, I bet you didn't realize a garage sale would help cure your anxiety). People in trauma recovery do amazingly similar things as they start getting well. They: think of creative projects and make more use of their five senses, crack themselves up with humorous anecdotes, out of the … Continue reading How EMDR Therapy can help you have a great garage sale