Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt

Find Your G-Spot

Find Your G-Spot

 

My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart . . . flying into rages . . . majoring in business instead of art. Some of this is healthy guilt. Most of it is coercive guilt.

It’s my fault: . . . I’m not more successful.

My dad died too young.

My parents split up.

My mother stayed in bed all the time.

My brother has so much trouble.

My husband doesn’t want me.

We had to file bankruptcy.

We lost the baby.

 Sometimes I try to argue with them. So, a five-year-old kid could cause his parents to divorce? So, you’re supposed to put your young life on hold to make sure your dad doesn’t die – even though he’s trashed his body and chased away his loved ones?

 Talk therapy only gets us so far: countering this kind of guilt with words is only partially helpful. We need the power-washer of EMDR to clean out old trauma channels in the brain that hold residue from our history and hold back the forward progress of our thinking.

But sometimes guilt is good. And we need to know the difference between guilt that helps versus guilt that hurts.

Healthy Guilt

Healthy Guilt steers us in the direction of becoming kinder, more responsible, more empathic, and more helpful. Guilt is good if it makes us better.

I wish I had not insulted his masculinity.

I wish I had handled my children more gently.

I could have helped that woman down the street with her car.

I should give more to charity.

Healthy Guilt brings awareness and changes our behavior in the future. It notices and then lets go. It illuminates a path not taken and creates experiential learning. It says: I’m human, I’m imperfect, and I’m learning. I believe Healthy Guilt comes from the higher self in connection with divine love.

But if it hangs on, keeps us awake at night, or paralyzes our ability to feel joy or to take action, guilt has morphed from healthy to coercive.

Coercive Guilt

Coercion involves force or threats – direct or indirect. So Coercive Guilt comes from some experience (past or present) in which we were induced to feel bad about ourselves for disappointing someone else. Coercive Guilt steers us toward depression, rigidity, anxiety, and less enjoyment of life. Coercive Guilt gets passed down the line, creating anxiety for younger generations. Guilt is bad if it is used to coerce others or make ourselves sick. Guilt is bad if it hangs on in spite of our changes, our apologies, our restitutions. Coercive Guilt comes from an outside influence that says we’ll never be enough, no matter how hard we work or how much we deny ourselves.

Coercive Guilt activates false family-of-origin beliefs.

  1. I’m a bad person.
  2. I make people angry, sad.
  3. I don’t give enough.
  4. I’m selfish and ungrateful.
  5. People who move far away from family are selfish and cold.
  6. If I take care of myself, I can’t be good (enough) to others.
  7. If I speak my truth, I will hurt people (and that would be bad).
  8. If I do what’s in my own best interest, I will have failed someone else.
  9. I should have known better. I should have seen it before.
  10. I’m not enough.

I wonder how the world would change if we all began to shed our coercive guilt. I wonder what would happen if we wrote about where it all started, how it’s limited our life adventures, and what we’d love to do if we weren’t so guilty.

Contact me if you’d like to target your Coercive Guilt with EMDR therapy or talk about re-writing your life story without all the apologies.

Contact Deborah

 

 

Hands are Not for Hitting: Let’s End Corporal Punishment

Hands Are Not for Hitting

A Tree of Healing Hands

Hands are Not for Hitting (and not for Shoving, Slapping, Swatting, Pinching, Jerking, or “Spanking”).

We read this book to my son when he was three. Hands help and love and wave goodbye. Hands paint and cook and communicate. But some adults still use their hands for corporal punishment of children. Maybe you know someone who still hits. Please share this post with them. Corporal punishment destroys natural impulses that are healthy and creative – it breaks relationship and leads to a host of emotional problems.

I work mostly with adults. At least 80 percent of my clients were hit as children by someone who was supposed to love them. Most do NOT want to talk about it. They come to me for other reasons, such as anxiety or difficulty concentrating. But their adult symptoms are usually related to their experience of physical punishment as children.

 

Being hit as a child is so horrifying, so degrading, so demoralizing, we resist even allowing ourselves to remember it happened……much less connect it to our current problems. So let’s analyze the practice a bit, so we can see how it affects us long-term.

Kids get hit for:

*going against their parents’ instructions

*forgetting to do something

*making too much noise

*making too much mess

*having open conflicts

*saying things that upset their parents

*adding stress to the parents’ experience (e.g., whining, complaining).

These infractions come mostly from impulse. And children are creatures of impulse. Kids need those impulses to learn and define themselves in the wide world. We rely on our parents to calmly teach us how to use our impulses in an organized, regulated way. But being hit teaches us something else:

                                                     ……….if we express ourselves honestly, if we have needs or desires, if we’re not always on the alert for our imperfections, we could get whacked.

Exercise: Make a list of offenses for which you were hit as a child. How has this list affected your adult life?

My list created an inner censor that stops me from speaking up when I should. It taught me: I’m not safe to speak or move or act. My novel, Wife Material, deals with religious abuse and child maltreatment and the repression of all sorts of natural impulses and voice……things that would be good to have…….natural elements destroyed by hitting.

I’m DONE being inhibited by my list of punishable offenses. I’m ready to bust out of that list. I’m ready to paint really outrageous things and write insurgent poetry and use words like bastard. I’m ready to go up to strangers in the mall and say, Please! Hands are not for hitting! You with me?

Please send this to everyone you know.

Contact me if you’d like to learn more about recovery from childhood trauma, including being hit – or if you’d like to make amends with your own child and start making better use of your hands.

I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse

Something tells me I’m a very bad person.

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Under the bridge…..beneath, “It’s my fault,” lives a more troubling idea…It hides in us like a troll under a bridge. Anyone who’s survived religious abuse knows the old thought-training dies hard.

Jim teaches art to high-schoolers. He lives with his wife of thirty years – the wife who mothered their four children. He never admits being gay, but he says he once had a “sexual problem involving other men.”

Jim was raised Church of Christ. When he tells me this, I feel a rush of heat and emotion because I, too, was raised Church of Christ. I know what this means. Religious abuse trains our own thoughts to condemn us for growing up. Religious abuse teaches us to fear our own bodies, thoughts, feelings, and needs.

We meet because of Jim’s panic attacks, which have resurfaced after 20 years of dormancy. He has them at the oddest times: once, on the highway in his Toyota, another dozen times at home, doing nothing in particular.

Jim tells me his father hit him with a belt for, “saying my thoughts out loud.” Sex was completely ignored in his fundamentalist family and his parents led a Bible study group on the evils of homosexuality.

I call this spiritual/religious abuse. I call this sadistic parenting. I call this major childhood trauma. I suggest Jim has PTSD. We start EMDR therapy. I ask Jim about his worst memories. He says, “My father barging in on me in the bathroom and beating me in the shower with his belt.”

I say, “Let’s go with that.”

Through the EMDR process, Jim shares a series of negative beliefs that come with the memory.

  • It’s my fault.
  • I’m a bad person.
  • My body is shameful/bad.

EMDR allows Jim to integrate the old guilt and reflexive, automatic, child-brain thoughts with newer, adult-brain information.

  • I am basically good.
  • I do the best I can.
  • My body is normal/okay.
  • My kids love me.
  • I’m a good teacher.

Jim releases a flood of boyhood tears. His body relaxes. This takes about four sessions. I see his face change. I see his posture change. He gets taller. He tells me he’s painting again. After another four weeks, he is clear of panic symptoms.

“I’m freer now. I can simply be angry and sad about my past.” Jim no longer has to throw a tarp over his true feelings just because they are unsightly to his family.

He still has some emotional work ahead of him. Jim has to grapple with the fact that he has never been free to be truly himself – that he’s pretended to be hetero to protect himself from his father, their church, the elders, the larger culture that surrounded it all. Jim and his wife will need couples counseling to cut through the invisible fence of secrets that has stood between them and mystified them both. Who knows where this will lead….?

But at least the secrets can be unpacked and he knows they’re not his fault. Free of this blame, Jim has emotional options that didn’t exist last year. As he talks honestly with his wife, his depression lifts. Many tears are shed, but windows of possibility open to the sky. There is life after truth-telling: life after PTSD and loneliness and despair.

I ask him what he believes about himself. He says, “I’m loved.” He says, “I’m okay.” He says, “I’m growing.”

My novel, Wife Material, is also a story about religious/spiritual abuse. Call me if you’d like to talk about this kind of trauma or learn about how EMDR therapy can help you heal from it.

Contact Deborah

 

It Must be My Fault

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“It Must be My Fault”

Beth gets the guilt like a reflex if anything goes wrong…..Especially if it involves her partner or her kids.

“If Stuart’s in a bad mood, I assume it has something to do with me.”

She feels responsible for her divorce.

“If I had been calmer and less upset, we might have made it.”

Beth blames herself for her ex-husband’s affair, which ultimately led to their divorce. When she talks about this, huge tears form in her eyes. If only I had been less kid-focused, more marriage-focused, he wouldn’t have strayed.

“I’m a failure at love.”

As we explore her history, we find more events for which she believes she is responsible.

  • Her parents’ constant fighting.
  • Her younger sister’s illness and eventual death.
  • Her parents’ divorce when she was thirteen.
  • Her mother’s drinking problem.
  • Her father’s absence, remarriage, new family, and complete emotional cutoff from adolescent Beth.

As adults, we know she could never have caused her sister’s cancer, but she feels as though she did. Part of Beth’s brain, the part that recorded all the childhood traumas, got stuck in a loop of images, emotions, and body sensations many years ago. In fact, the neuro-cognitive self-blame loop formed before she could even talk……way back when Beth’s young parents were struggling to survive early job loss and financial devastation.

Children blame themselves for their parents’ suffering. Children absorb their parents’ emotions into their own nervous systems. Yes, children absorb guilt that belongs to someone else.

The guilt-and-self-blame loop triggers Beth to drink too much, eat too much, and feel like a failure. Beth needs help rewiring her brain circuitry. EMDR (eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy does this, literally, by jump-starting conversation between the two hemispheres of the brain. The talk between brain hemispheres actually produces new information.

Imagine the lids from two cans of paint – one red, one white. Now picture someone taking a brush and drawing it across both lids – back and forth, until you see lines of white in the red and lines of red in the white….and soon pink paint!

EMDR works like this…..the new information, like the pink paint created in this illustration, triggers neurons (brain cells) to communicate with each other in a different way. New working groups of neurons form. These new neuron groups change the very route through which both old and new information travels, allowing it to produce new meaning and emotion as it picks up new data along its new route through the nervous system.

That new information leads to an emotional change – the ability to feel the truth in what our adult brains know to be true:

  • It’s not my fault.
  • I did the best I could.
  • I was a child.
  • I deserve love.

When I see this process unfolding in my clients, I watch them calm down. I watch them acquire new, imaginative ideas, parent more effectively, and become more spiritually centered.

Call me to find out more about EMDR therapy, calming down, and letting go of guilt.

Contact Deborah

I’m Thankful for You.

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Profusion Purple from Flowers Reborn, Deborah Cox, 2015

Every time I see you, I say a little prayer of thanks that you’re in my life. You help me more than you know. Continue reading

How to Deal with Dissociation

Dissociation takes us out of the moment.

Yesterday, I stood in the MSU music building while my son warmed up for a violin performance. All around me, young pianists and violinists practiced their Chopin, their Mozart, in separate cubicles, getting ready to play for a judge. My husband sat near me in one of the hard plastic chairs. He reached for my hand. I waved him off, annoyed…

Second-grader me, surrounded by the sounds of my passion and my failure, in a silent loop of shame and guilt. If only I was in room 25, playing the Chopin, then I would be a success as a person. If only I was in room 26, playing the Mozart, then my parents would like me, be proud of me…..

This moment should have been completely about my son. But the familiar setting, the music seeping out of practice rooms, the smell of pianos, triggered old memory material and whisked me away to an earlier time – immersed me in feelings of longing and worthlessness so there was little left of me, the partner, near my spouse, the only other person who parents this talented boy of ours.

I dissociated. I exited the moment – without realizing it.

I caught myself in the free-fall.

Dissociation happens vividly, when we lose time, get lost or stuck or unable to make sense of things we ordinarily understand…Or subtly, when we freeze in horror or stress or shame or guilt…or any other feeling that takes us out of the moment. Dissociation looks like:

  • daydreaming, zoning out, a sudden panic attack or an unexplained back pain…
  • forgetting, losing our keys or phone or money, being unable to enjoy sex or closeness
  • binge-eating, binge-drinking, binge-shopping, or getting so paralyzed with anxiety we can’t leave the house
  • having no words, no feelings, just muteness or numbness or a sense of being zombified or feeling like a small child again

Dissociation looks different on everyone, but it works the same in the body. We stumble into a random sensory stimulus that takes us down a familiar neural pathway, once developed at a time of great emotional stress…and suddenly we’re no longer present in this moment. We lose consciousness or wakefulness.

Most traumatized people do not get help until much later in life (if ever). I believe this is why our world often feels like a scene from The Walking Dead. The pain of trauma from child abuse, from witnessing a parent live in emotional turmoil, or from never feeling good enough to deserve love continues in loops of electrical memory material, indefinitely…if it’s not addressed.

Effective trauma recovery therapy brings us back into the present moment by guiding us through neurological change. It reduces our need to dissociate. It makes the environment safe again, so we can rejoin those we love, right here – right now…for a touch, a concert, a child’s song, a lunar eclipse.

We get to be here, now.

I’m a trauma therapist and EMDR practitioner. Contact me to find out more about dissociation, effective trauma recovery therapy, and how EMDR therapy can bring more wakefulness to your life, right now.

Read more about how trauma therapy and EMDR can bring more present-moment consciousness to your relationship.

Contact Deborah

How EMDR Therapy can help you have a great garage sale

Misbehavior #373: The Soul of Downsizing (Or, I bet you didn’t realize a garage sale would help cure your anxiety).

People in trauma recovery do amazingly similar things as they start getting well. They:

  1. think of creative projects and make more use of their five senses,
  2. crack themselves up with humorous anecdotes, out of the blue,
  3. start to reject automatic, old-school politeness,
  4. think and see more clearly and critically (in a good way)…..and,
  5. clear stuff from their environment that they no longer need.

Let’s focus for a moment on number five.

When I was in graduate school, I started to heal from the emotional abuse of my younger life. My forthcoming book, Wife Material, tells a fictional story based on this experience.

One day, in the middle of my transformation, I woke up and realized I no longer wanted to sleep on my grandmother’s bed or store my underwear in her antique chest of drawers. Yes, this is symbolic.

Beautiful old furniture – and I loved my grandmother…but I knew it had to go, along with the pile of vintage dolls (mine, my mother’s, my grandmother’s) I’d been moving around with me in a giant cardboard box labeled, “childhood.”

I sold the whole mess to a friend who needed bedroom furniture and liked to sell other people’s things. I flinched as he rolled the heirlooms out on his green lacquered dolly. But after they were gone, I had this wonderfully empty room. And into this room went a small daybed and a crafting table. My underwear went into a plastic bin in the closet. I brought home paints and flower pots and created beaded necklaces instead of dusting my antique bedroom set and thinking of old people.

Yes, I know that sounds rude. Ungrateful and rebellious and un-Christian and un-American and un-granddaughterly. I get it. But I see that experience now as my first lesson in letting go. The impulse struck. I acted on it. I cleared away something old. I brought in something new.

Healing from trauma put me smack in the cycle of life. Birth. Activity. Decay. Death. Loss. Rebirth…And on it goes.

This weekend, I plan to get ready for a big yard sale: Stuff. Must. Go. After getting some of my own EMDR therapy to deal with grief and loss, I gathered up an entire room full of stuff: discarded electronics, gifts I never liked (guiltguiltguilt), a massage mat that collects cat hair and spider webs, clothing and keepsakes and detritus I no longer wish to move, dust, or think about. I’m done with it all. Things are just things. Things help us live and create. And when they no longer serve that purpose, we can let them go…kind of like old beliefs (e.g., “I’m a bad grand-daughter.”).

I crave clean, empty space for…unruly thoughts, naughty poems, murals, lolling around on blankets in the floor with my Boston Terrier…You get the idea.

Interested in more blog posts about healthy rebellion? Visit these posts:

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How EMDR Trauma Therapy Helps Couples Reconnect

Trauma Therapy: Take Another Look (It’s not what you think).

Jim has a problem. His wife of twenty years sends him to therapy. She says, “I don’t like hanging out with you anymore.” He’s hurt and defensive. Jim has no idea what a gift his wife is giving him.

“I just don’t understand what she wants from me.”

Stephanie wants Jim, the guy she married twenty years ago. She traces the path they’ve been on, trying to see where she lost him.

“I always thought it was my fault…He never wanted sex…He preferred late night television to me…He drank, but I didn’t think he was an alcoholic…He stopped exercising and gained a lot of weight. He told me I shouldn’t badger him about it…I’ve been missing him for seventeen years.”

Jim has a drinking problem. But it’s not just alcohol that keeps him numb to the world around him. Overeating, sugary foods, overspending, and zoning in front of the big screen also dull his senses to the rainbow of possibility in his life. He medicates his pain, the hurt from decades of suppressing trauma memories…but he also anesthetizes himself to joy, the abundance and color of his family, the nature in his backyard, the friends who used to come over.

Jim has a process addiction. He does certain things over and over in an attempt to feel better. For a while, it was working too much. Then it was late-night bingeing. Then it was vodka. But the hamburgers and ice cream and alcohol take their toll. At 50, he’s no longer the sharp-witted guy Stephanie remembers. He’s mentally sluggish, grumpy, overweight, and easily set off by small threats to his control. When Stephanie tries to get him to eat better, exercise, turn off the TV, he either (1) barks at her to stop nagging, or (2) pouts silently. She’s done with both.

Jim realizes, in a small corner of his mind, that he needs help. He also realizes, on some deep, dark, neglected level, that his behavior is linked to how his dad treated him. Now that their own son is a teenager, Jim has trouble putting those memories behind him.

Jim says, “It’s not like I was beaten or starved.” He thinks “trauma” doesn’t apply to him. “It’s just that my dad wasn’t around. He had his own life. He popped in and out of mine when it suited him.”

What Jim’s little boy self learned from this was, “I’m unimportant.” And he’s been trying to cope with the feeling of unimportance for 50 years. He says it’s too late for him to change.

Trauma therapy for Jim includes EMDR (eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing). We target whatever memories or emotions go with his problem, which lead us back to the point of origin…the place where it all began. We start with his addictions and his feeling of being unappreciated by Stephanie. We start with his fear of being a bad father to his own boy.

EMDR allows us to follow the pathways back to the original hurts, to reprocess the memory material there, and to install new templates for future behavior. After three or four sessions, Jim starts to feel calmer. He has new thoughts, out of the blue. I was a precious child, just like my son. I deserved better from my dad. Jim starts to attend AA, for support. He finds people who understand his struggle. With continued EMDR, Jim gets stronger, replaces the bad habits with new hobbies. Stephanie joins us for couple sessions. They reconnect.

It’s not overnight, but the EMDR process works. Trauma recovery works. Jim gets his life back – and Stephanie gets her Jim back. And although they still have work to do, the path to that work is now clear.

For more articles about couple’s therapy, check out these blogs posts:

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Religion, Sex and how EMDR Therapy Can Heal Sexual Trauma

Sex, Religion, and the Ghosts in your Attic

A while back, I wrote about how our religious upbringing can pollute our sexuality. I challenged you to imagine yourself engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviors you might never want to actually do – because just thinking about them causes you to assess yourself. What did my religious indoctrination take away from my sexual expression?

Today, I want to dig a little deeper into the problem. Sexual trauma, harsh religion, child corporal punishment, and relationship troubles seem to cluster together. Families with fundamentalist religious values tend to be the families with inconsistent sexual boundaries and with strict authoritarian parenting practices. And in those families, children tend to be mystified or mortified by sexuality.

Having lots of rules and judgments about your budding sexual identity counts as trauma by itself. Do any of these apply to you? 

  1. Your family considered it immoral to be gay or lesbian.
  2. Your parents acted like they never had sex (or, never had sex).
  3. You were taught that sex outside of marriage is a sin.
  4. You were taught that masturbation is a sin.
  5. You were taught that parents have a right to hit their children’s bodies in order to teach them.
  6. You had a sibling who got in trouble for her/his sexual behavior (e.g., pregnancy, etc.).
  7. You were taught that sexual thoughts or feelings, outside of marriage, was a sin.
  8. You were taught to fear God’s judgment of your sexuality.
  9. You were taught that girls/women should not have sexual desires.
  10. You were taught that men/boys were sexual aggressors or that they could not control themselves.
  11. You felt ashamed of your sexual development (e.g., puberty, menses).

How many of those fit? Any one of them suggests rigid family thought patterns – that may have been passed on to you. And thought patterns can be traumatizing. In families that have lots of prohibitions around sexuality and/or use harsh parenting practices, children grow up believing that a part of them (a natural, healthy part) is unhealthy, bad, ugly, or shameful.

If you have more than one of the above list, you probably carry unresolved trauma that affects the life you live in your body. And you may also carry sexual trauma from:

  1. being sexually abused by a sibling or parent.
  2. being punished physically, even if no official injuries were sustained.
  3. learning to think your body deserved to be treated with disrespect.
  4. learning to consider your body a source of sin.

This kind of trauma may have few memories attached to it, so it may seem invisible and baffling. But you know it’s there because you can’t enjoy yourself like others seem to be able to.

EMDR Therapy can help with this. We start by targeting the feelings, sensations, and pictures associated with your sexual situation. We reprocess old feelings and replace false ideas about the self with more helpful information that lets you move past old ways of being.

Many couples tell me that their sex lives have improved as a result of EMDR. One or both partners had family backgrounds full of shame and secrecy – but now, they can shed their old lives, live more fully in the present, and feel joy and closeness.

Check out these blog posts for how therapy can help you:

If you have questions about my pathway for helping you or how healthy rebellion can positively impact trauma therapy and family psychology, please contact me or call me today at 417-886-8262.

Contact Deborah

Marriage Therapy and how EMDR Therapy Helps Unresolved Grief

How Unresolved Grief affects your Marriage

I sometimes get really upset or anxious about something I can’t pinpoint. It’s like out of nowhere a blue fug envelopes me in nameless, faceless despair. I turn to my partner and momentarily think it’s about his kitchen trash habits (think overstuffed, smelling of garlic and rotten fruit, overflowing with coffee grounds). But as I lecture Joe on the virtues of composting, I realize in a small corner of myself that it’s a front for something much older and more confusing.

I’m not really that perturbed he doesn’t share my passion for recycling. I seem to have recruited my husband into an invisible drama, as a surrogate for someone or something else I lost… decades ago.

My true feelings hide like a lost soccer ball beneath layers of decaying leaves. If I fling myself into the pile of yard waste that’s accumulated over the lost ball, I perceive it – but I have no idea what it is.

I lost my father when I was three. No, he didn’t die or leave. But at three, I understood him to be an unstable figure – one I’d have to keep at arm’s length if I was to survive till eighteen in a house with him. So the disenfranchised mourning began.

Right away, I set about finding replacements for my dad. An older cousin, a boyfriend, a few teachers along the way. But Joe won the prize. He became my adult attachment figure, and to Joe I transferred all my unmet childhood longings, which might sound like this…

  • Please show yourself to be a stable adult.
  • Please don’t let me down.
  • Please try harder to prove you’re a good person.
  • Please show me I’m worth it.

These remnants get mixed into every difficult conversation we have. Losing my dad as a preschooler continues to be a deep well of sadness for me. Sadness that’s triggered when I perceive my partner doesn’t care. Sadness that can’t be cried about directly. Like the drunk guy who searches for his lost car keys under the street lamp – because that’s where the light is. I keep searching in Joe for the things I lost…because he’s here, now.

So, I wonder if any of this is familiar to you? Like getting offended by your partner brings a whole huge energy that seems to belong elsewhere? Or maybe you have never been able to fully trust him/her? Maybe you always expect to lose your partner – like you lost a parent so long ago.

What’s the biggest loss you’ve ever experienced? The death of a high school sweetheart? Your parents’ divorce? A sibling who died? A parent who moved across the country?

Trauma therapy addresses this old loss – and comforts the child part of yourself that still needs something. The combination of Marriage therapy and Trauma therapy works in your current relationship too. We follow the breadcrumbs back in time – from your unresolved conflicts in the here and now, to your unresolved losses from long ago. EMDR therapy (eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing) facilitates this process and allows you to link together each piece of the chain, moving backwards or forwards to integrate old and new information. It calms the nervous system and helps you get past stuck places. It allows your mind/body to metabolize old loss. It triggers new creativity and solutions. It helps you feel closer to loved ones in the present.

For more information on this topic, check out these posts:

Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone in a safe, secure environment where you can understand your past, your present and your relationships. Call me at 417-886-8262 or click below.

Contact Deborah