THERAPY BLOGS
How Lies Put Us Into Trance and How to Stay Awake
Lies often come from authority-figures. When I was growing up, preachers told the story of Abraham and Isaac: the one about how Abraham takes his child to a mountaintop and prepares to stab him to death as a sacrifice to God (whose ego must have been puny).Every time...
Why You Need a Higher Power Right Now
I went through a hard-core atheist phase. In my 20s. I ran from organized religion and chafed at any mention of a higher power. This was it. Just the here and now. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade that liberation for anything. Throwing off all my childhood...
Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No
Repression: I once knew what this was and then I forgot. Last weekend, I attended the EMDRIA conference in Minneapolis where physician, Gabor Maté, spoke about the connections between trauma, emotional repression, and disease. He told the story of his Jewish infant...
Notice Body-Mind Connections and Heal from Trauma
I used to fall a lot. On the sidewalk. In my yard. Up a flight of marble stairs. About seven years ago, after a string of bizarre falls where I ended up with scars on my shins and a pulled muscle in my back, I followed the trail of breadcrumbs and made a body-mind...
Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt
My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart...
Hands are Not for Hitting: Let’s End Corporal Punishment
Hands are Not for Hitting (and not for Shoving, Slapping, Swatting, Pinching, Jerking, or "Spanking"). We read this book to my son when he was three. Hands help and love and wave goodbye. Hands paint and cook and communicate. But some adults still use their hands for...
I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse
Something tells me I'm a very bad person. Under the bridge.....beneath, “It’s my fault,” lives a more troubling idea...It hides in us like a troll under a bridge. Anyone who's survived religious abuse knows the old thought-training dies hard. Jim teaches art to...
It Must be My Fault
“It Must be My Fault” Beth gets the guilt like a reflex if anything goes wrong…..Especially if it involves her partner or her kids. “If Stuart’s in a bad mood, I assume it has something to do with me.” She feels responsible for her divorce. “If I had been calmer and...
I’m Thankful for You.
Every time I see you, I say a little prayer of thanks that you’re in my life. You help me more than you know. I’m thankful….. …..for the new ideas you bring to me. …..for your smiling eyes that greet me even though your heart is full of pain. …..for your honesty that...
How to Deal with Dissociation
Dissociation takes us out of the moment. Yesterday, I stood in the MSU music building while my son warmed up for a violin performance. All around me, young pianists and violinists practiced their Chopin, their Mozart, in separate cubicles, getting ready to play for a...
How EMDR Therapy can help you have a great garage sale
Misbehavior #373: The Soul of Downsizing (Or, I bet you didn't realize a garage sale would help cure your anxiety). People in trauma recovery do amazingly similar things as they start getting well. They: think of creative projects and make more use of their five...
How EMDR Trauma Therapy Helps Couples Reconnect
Trauma Therapy: Take Another Look (It's not what you think). Jim has a problem. His wife of twenty years sends him to therapy. She says, "I don't like hanging out with you anymore." He's hurt and defensive. Jim has no idea what a gift his wife is giving him. "I just...
Religion, Sex and how EMDR Therapy Can Heal Sexual Trauma
Sex, Religion, and the Ghosts in your Attic A while back, I wrote about how our religious upbringing can pollute our sexuality. I challenged you to imagine yourself engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviors you might never want to actually do - because just thinking...
Marriage Therapy and how EMDR Therapy Helps Unresolved Grief
How Unresolved Grief affects your Marriage I sometimes get really upset or anxious about something I can't pinpoint. It's like out of nowhere a blue fug envelopes me in nameless, faceless despair. I turn to my partner and momentarily think it's about his kitchen trash...
Springfield, MO Psychologist: Disobey Your Mother to Survive
Healthy Rebellion, Part 2: Why You Must Disobey Your Mother if you Want to Survive I am a Springfield, MO Psychologist and published author. But, I am also a mother. I get it. Mothers create structure and nurture. We tell you what to do. We train, disapprove, lecture,...
Improving your focus through EMDR Therapy
How EMDR therapy helps increase concentration, productivity and creativity. "My wife says I have ADHD." I hear this all the time. Adults come in to see me because they think they have attention deficit disorder. They lose their concentration and fade out as they try...
The Submissive Wife: How This Role Damages Boys (and Girls)
How do I keep my son from growing up to be a jerk? How do I help him become egalitarian? Great question: How do we raise boys to share power in relationships? The answer lies in your willingness to share power in your own relationships. The "submissive wife" sounds...
I Heart Texas
Texas is my Spiritual Home I love Texas because it loves itself. I love it for it's ego, its comical arrogance. I love that everyone there loves where they are. I love Texas because it's chock full of contrast, from Mount Pleasant to Valentine. In skin color,...
Leap of Faith, II: Trust your Gut & Try Something New
You wake to your alarm, grab the phone to shut it off, and groan. You feel sort of depressed, sort of sick. You’d pay someone a thousand dollars if you could just stay in bed without facing consequences later. You force your body upright and swing your feet to the...
Leap of Faith, Part I: Trust your Gut, Talk to your Partner
It's not easy to reconnect with your partner after months or years of relationship stalemate. But with a little guidance, you may be able to build a bridge to your lover. Remember when you knew which color popsicle to choose, just because red felt better than green?...
Like to Subscribe?
Get notified when Deborah shares new ideas, art, and creative health information for you.
You have Successfully Subscribed!
We respect your privacy. No information will be shared.