You feel a kind of dread, nearly all the time, even though you take an antidepressant and use logical affirmations on yourself: I have nothing to fear. I am all right. I can forgive myself for not being perfect. The dread eats your lunch, steals your relaxation, causes you to snap at people you love. The dread makes you pick at your clothes and worry about your belly fat. You finally work up the courage to call for help. You feel ridiculous and say to yourself…

Maybe it’s all in my head.
Maybe I’m exaggerating how bad it is.
Or maybe I’m really crazy and this person is going to tell me so.

As you hear the ring tone you start to back out. But you don’t. Someone answers. They say, I can help. It’s gonna be okay. You set an appointment. You drag yourself there, shaking like a chihuahua. And then things begin to change.

Every person who sets foot in my office for trauma therapy is committing an act of defiance. They defy all the pressure to keep quiet about trauma. Don’t talk about the past. You should be over that by now. Don’t admit how you obsess over things. It was no big deal. What are you, crazy?…

It takes courage to clear these hurdles.

  1. The hurdle of stating out loud how I feel.
  2. The hurdle of telling what happened to me.
  3. The fear of nothing getting better.
  4. The fear of everything getting better…and then what would I be without this anxiety?
  5. The risk of hearing myself speak the truth…what else will I have to do then?
  6. The practical hurdles of money, time, and logistics (which are biggies)…what if I have to leave work early?

And it takes a bit of rebelliousness to open the box for trauma therapy.What’s in there? I’m going to find out. What if I get too angry? Oh well. What if I say things I can’t take back?  What if I disrespect my parents? What if I can no longer believe in God or work for this company or ignore homeless children or eat beef or wear fur? What if I find out who I really am? What if I change?

It’s okay. We’ll open it together.

For similar posts, click here:

If you have questions about my pathway for helping you or how healthy rebellion can positively impact trauma therapy and family psychology, please contact me or call me today at 417-886-8262.

[dacta]

Like to Subscribe?

Like to Subscribe?

Get notified when Deborah shares new ideas, art, and creative health information for you.

You have Successfully Subscribed!