MORE I need to write, but haven't in a while. I got a little bogged down trying to create neat, unoffensive packages of psychotherapy. I sort of lost myself, and writing became a chore. But I'm writing my way back home, thanks to a little rest and time with writerly friends. Now, my true self … Continue reading Note to Self: Write MORE that’s Real in 2018
We hear a lot about freedom from politicians and life coaches. But freedom seems a bit vapory to me. Freedom to, what, exactly? Last week, I started asking people, What does freedom look like to you? Here are some of the answers people gave me. Having the ability and right to make decisions for myself. … Continue reading What Does Freedom Look Like to You?
Yesterday, I had a conversation with friends about how we become known inside our relationships. Where and with whom can we be truly ourselves? How much do we share? What parts of ourselves do we keep hidden? Loneliness and social isolation pose serious health risks. So the question of how we share with the people around … Continue reading Deepening our Relationships by Letting People Know Us
I Write to Grow Up I struggle to differentiate, as we all do. Leaving home is a lifelong process, as described by Murray Bowen, the father of family systems theory. But writing my novel, Wife Material, about the process of leaving home, catapulted me forward. That’s why I so recommend life-writing as part of trauma … Continue reading Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self
Julia Cameron says we all have the right to write, even if someone has told us we’re no good at it. Writing is a birthright that cannot be denied. It brings what’s inside to the outside, a very basic human need. I’m working on a sequel to Wife Material, the novel I published last fall. … Continue reading Writing as Healthy Rebellion
My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart . . . flying … Continue reading Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt
I purged my childhood belief system and started over. I ran to psychology. It explained everything, including all those simple minds who still drank the Kool-Aid. Near the end of the purging process, I said to a wise friend, “I am an atheist.” He just smiled. My friend was a retired Methodist minister, now BuddhistUniversalistQuaker…….Learner. … Continue reading What’s Your Spiritual Story? (And why it matters to your life.)
Wife Material, my new novel, started as a memoir before it became a work of fiction. I wrote it because I could not- not write it. In the beginning, I tried to expose the dark side of a religious sect – the one in which I spent my childhood. In the end, I’d made up … Continue reading Write your Life Story and Heal from It.