DEBORAH COX BLOGS
Opening Pandora’s Box: Trauma Therapy as an Act of Disobedience
You feel a kind of dread, nearly all the time, even though you take an antidepressant and use logical affirmations on yourself: I have nothing to fear. I am all right. I can forgive myself for not being perfect. The dread eats your lunch, steals your relaxation,...
Stages of Spiritual Development: Rebellion Saves Lives
Rebellion Saves Lives: How acts of disobedience preserve the real you. I loathe meetings. Most meetings bore the crap out of me and make me want to stand up and scream. Several years ago, when I worked as a university professor, I rebelled and stopped going to...
Marriage Therapy and how EMDR Therapy Helps Unresolved Grief
How Unresolved Grief affects your Marriage I sometimes get really upset or anxious about something I can't pinpoint. It's like out of nowhere a blue fug envelopes me in nameless, faceless despair. I turn to my partner and momentarily think it's about his kitchen trash...
Healthy Break Rule-breaking for Trauma Therapy and Family Psychology
What does rebellion have to do with depression? What does it have to do with trauma recovery or family psychology? Rebellion is active. It changes things. It forces a new perspective. Rebellion gets you moving, which fights depression. Rebellion causes you to think on...
Springfield, MO Psychologist: Disobey Your Mother to Survive
Healthy Rebellion, Part 2: Why You Must Disobey Your Mother if you Want to Survive I am a Springfield, MO Psychologist and published author. But, I am also a mother. I get it. Mothers create structure and nurture. We tell you what to do. We train, disapprove, lecture,...
A Family Psychologist and EMDR Therapist’s advice on Healthy Rebellion
What is Healthy Rebellion? Sometimes I need a good dose of change. A certain restlessness comes over me and I must rearrange the furniture (I think I've told you this part before) or chop off my hair or paint my shoes yellow (yes, I've done this). And sometimes the...
Couples therapy: The impact of religion and sex
Religion and Your Sex Life Warning: Religion and sex - not a dainty topic. You have problems with sex. It confuses you, because you long for a close, physical relationship with your partner. It breaks your heart because you love the person with whom you share your...
Family counseling advice and 4 key tips for nonviolent parenting
NONVIOLENT PARENTING, 102 I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. If more parents used corporal punishment, we'd have less crime. I believe in Spare the rod and Spoil the child. I deserved every spanking I got. Have you said these things? If our parents hit...
Effective family counseling can begin with parenting therapy
NONVIOLENT PARENTING, 101 We need to talk. This is a big, heavy subject, but it's time. You already know - the relationship with your child is the most precious part of your life. Ever since your child arrived, your heart walks around outside your body. This love...
Improving your focus through EMDR Therapy
How EMDR therapy helps increase concentration, productivity and creativity. "My wife says I have ADHD." I hear this all the time. Adults come in to see me because they think they have attention deficit disorder. They lose their concentration and fade out as they try...
Hurt and Healing through Marriage Counseling and Relationship Therapy
Why should we bother? It feels so hopeless. We haven't been close in years. Maybe this marriage can't be fixed... Most couples wait several years before seeking relationship therapy for their distressed relationship. By the time they reach my office, they feel like...
The Submissive Wife: How This Role Damages Boys (and Girls)
How do I keep my son from growing up to be a jerk? How do I help him become egalitarian? Great question: How do we raise boys to share power in relationships? The answer lies in your willingness to share power in your own relationships. The "submissive wife" sounds...
I Heart Texas
Texas is my Spiritual Home I love Texas because it loves itself. I love it for it's ego, its comical arrogance. I love that everyone there loves where they are. I love Texas because it's chock full of contrast, from Mount Pleasant to Valentine. In skin color,...
Leap of Faith, II: Trust your Gut & Try Something New
You wake to your alarm, grab the phone to shut it off, and groan. You feel sort of depressed, sort of sick. You’d pay someone a thousand dollars if you could just stay in bed without facing consequences later. You force your body upright and swing your feet to the...
Leap of Faith, Part I: Trust your Gut, Talk to your Partner
It's not easy to reconnect with your partner after months or years of relationship stalemate. But with a little guidance, you may be able to build a bridge to your lover. Remember when you knew which color popsicle to choose, just because red felt better than green?...
10 Signs of a Fractured Relationship
We story our lives around the characters in them. And of all the characters in our stories, we refer most often to our partners, spouses, lovers, and soul mates. Disconnection from our lovers makes up the bulk of what we say to our therapists, our best friends, and...
How Friendships Improve your Love Life
"I don't really hang out with people anymore." Most people I meet who are in distressed relationships say they have few friends outside their marriage or partnership. Especially the men. They say things like . . . I've lost touch with old acquaintances. I'm too busy...
Anger Management for Polite People
I'm not saying you have an anger problem. I'm not saying you're dangerous or you should take a class on how to count to ten and take deep breaths. All I'm saying is that you're pissed off (for good reasons) and have no idea what to do with the feelings. That's all....
Step Away From the Dog House: Love, Guilt, and Imperfection
Max says, "I need to get help or I'm going to lose my family." Max feels like a failure as a mate and as a father. At age 45, he works 60 hours a week to provide his family's comfortable lifestyle. He coaches kids' soccer teams. He takes his wife on an annual cruise....
Disconnection & Depression in the Wider World
This is an excerpt, you need to craft these so that people want to carry on reading the article. On the left is a ‘featured’ image. It only shows on this excerpt screen (unless you specifically put it into an article as well).
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