Religious Trauma into Soul Healing, Part VI: Reading Good Fiction

  Lift Up & Away from Religious  Trauma Fiction (and memoir) reorganizes our internal narratives, and allows us to try on the emotional resources of others. It does this, not by selling us products or threatening us with what we MUST-do-or-be-damned, but by showing other worlds, inviting imagination. As we recover from spiritual abuse and … Continue reading Religious Trauma into Soul Healing, Part VI: Reading Good Fiction

Listen to ReConceive: a Healing Podcast

  ReConceive: a Podcast about All Kinds of Healing My dear friend, Melissa Sundwall, a great therapist who also happens to be a lot younger than me, says: “Let’s do a podcast.” And I say, “What’s a podcast?” That literally happened. About a year ago. So we teamed up with Shauna Smith-Yates, owner of The … Continue reading Listen to ReConceive: a Healing Podcast

“I’m unattractive & I Don’t Deserve Love”: Change Negative Beliefs with EMDR

I have a few Negative Beliefs . . . I did some dumb things in my teens. I backed the family car out of the driveway, into our neighbor’s car (which had exited his driveway a second ahead of mine). I waited tables at a church banquet and spilled iced tea down the back of … Continue reading “I’m unattractive & I Don’t Deserve Love”: Change Negative Beliefs with EMDR

How Lies Put Us Into Trance and How to Stay Awake

Lies often come from authority-figures. When I was growing up, preachers told the story of Abraham and Isaac: the one about how Abraham takes his child to a mountaintop and prepares to stab him to death as a sacrifice to God (whose ego must have been puny).Every time the story was told, a part of … Continue reading How Lies Put Us Into Trance and How to Stay Awake

Transform Holiday Stress into Mindful Rest & Giving

Until recently, I resented the holidays. As in, Already???? We just did this, right? Except the years when my son believed in Santa and we put together tricycles and trains, after his bedtime, under the synthetic Douglas Fir, I got a sinking anxious dread just before Thanksgiving that let up after January first. Holiday stress separated … Continue reading Transform Holiday Stress into Mindful Rest & Giving

Victim Mentality & My Grandfather’s Privates

"Don't sound like such a victim," said somebody on Facebook yesterday. I talk with so many of you in shock and grief about our presidential election. You feel assaulted. You fear saying how raw and threatening it feels, how sick you are. My throat started burning Tuesday night as I watched the returns, even though I … Continue reading Victim Mentality & My Grandfather’s Privates

Woman-Hate and Somebody else’s PTSD

The Political is Personal for Every Woman My woman clients said, this week feels scary, out-of-control. Sunday evening, I had heartburn like sawdust in my throat, before, during, and after the presidential debate. When I tried to sleep, my guts roiled. I usually try to keep politics (mostly) out of my blog, so it took … Continue reading Woman-Hate and Somebody else’s PTSD

Affirmations for Healing Spiritual Abuse

  Spiritual abuse includes any kind of religious teaching or practice that diminishes your human rights, isolates you from the wider world, or systematically places you in positions of low power. I modeled these affirmations for healing spiritual abuse on those found in Jessica and Nick Ortner’s The Tapping Solution courses. Say them aloud or read … Continue reading Affirmations for Healing Spiritual Abuse

Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No

Repression: I once knew what this was and then I forgot. Last weekend, I attended the EMDRIA conference in Minneapolis where physician, Gabor Maté, spoke about the connections between trauma, emotional repression, and disease. He told the story of his Jewish infant self, crying all the time, in Hungary, 1944, just before the Nazi invasion. He quickly … Continue reading Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No

How Getting Grounded Makes you Smarter

I believe you. I think it's important for you to know that. When someone's taking you seriously, you stay more awake to your observations. Sometimes we knock down the disturbing ones, like a kid playing Whack-a-Mole. We fear a dawning realization. We don’t want it to be true. So let me just say right now, I trust … Continue reading How Getting Grounded Makes you Smarter