BECOMING MORE OF YOUR TRUE SELF BLOGS
Why do I want this? Skip resolutions and Go Deep instead.
My Bodysmith friends and I have been asking ourselves: Do we even want to make resolutions for 2017? Does it make sense to replay the same self-assignments, year after year? The question makes sense if you think about how New Year’s resolutions have evolved over time....
Be More Self-Centered and Save the World
What does it mean to be self centered? Your Self is your wise spiritual center. But outside this center, we live under a weighted blanket of stress and uncertainty, threatened by darkness and greed from all angles. We feel disconnected from neighbors and afraid of...
Transform Holiday Stress into Mindful Rest & Giving
Until recently, I resented the holidays. As in, Already???? We just did this, right? Except the years when my son believed in Santa and we put together tricycles and trains, after his bedtime, under the synthetic Douglas Fir, I got a sinking anxious dread just before...
The Air We Breathe: Panic, Mental Health, & Misogyny
, Woman-Hate=Mostly Unconscious Fear of Women’s Empowerment. One day, in 1992, I had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere. I got up early and dressed for work, made breakfast and started a load of laundry, turned on the morning news while I finished my hair and my...
Uber Calm in a Narcissistic World
Several years ago, I did a talk for a local GLBT advocacy group. I stood at the front of a large meeting room and talked about discrimination and ignorance, the need for education. A topic I lectured on every week in my classes. But in the middle of my presentation,...
Stuck in the Pigeonhole Vs. Becoming More of You
Okay, everybody. Here's a little quiz. Consider List 1 and check all that apply to you: A good daughter □ Married to one mate, for life □ A good provider □ A sweet girl □ Skinny □ Happily married □ A good Democrat □ A good Republican □ A dutiful son □ Law-abiding...
Once Upon a Time: Repression and Learning to Say No
Repression: I once knew what this was and then I forgot. Last weekend, I attended the EMDRIA conference in Minneapolis where physician, Gabor Maté, spoke about the connections between trauma, emotional repression, and disease. He told the story of his Jewish infant...
Abusive Religion or Political Party? Toxic Faith: Part II
Toxic Faith & Political Abuse Spiritual practice should calm and ground you – so you feel hopeful, refreshed, more generous, and more compassionate. Religion and philosophy should promote ever-increasing access to your wise mind or Higher Self. But some...
What Does Freedom Look Like to You?
We hear a lot about freedom from politicians and life coaches. But freedom seems a bit vapory to me. Freedom to, what, exactly? Last week, I started asking people, What does freedom look like to you? Here are some of the answers people gave me. Having the...
Notice Body-Mind Connections and Heal from Trauma
I used to fall a lot. On the sidewalk. In my yard. Up a flight of marble stairs. About seven years ago, after a string of bizarre falls where I ended up with scars on my shins and a pulled muscle in my back, I followed the trail of breadcrumbs and made a body-mind...
Loathing, Lust, & Longing: Why We Obsess so Much
My son amazes me. He has his obsessions, but they're about his music, his philosophizing. He’s so different from the adolescent me of thirty-five years ago. He’s calmer and freer to learn. He’s funny, and takes creative risks with language. He accepts people with all...
Writing as Healthy Rebellion
Julia Cameron says we all have the right to write, even if someone has told us we’re no good at it. Writing is a birthright that cannot be denied. It brings what’s inside to the outside, a very basic human need. I’m working on a sequel to Wife Material, the novel I...
Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt
My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart...
No Judgment Here: 10 Things I Love about Group Fitness
No Judgment...but lots of Very Cool Surprises. Group fitness bears a huge resemblance to group therapy. Who knew? I did not. But doing group fitness at The Bodysmith has changed my life and now I can’t stop talking about it. It helps me recover more quickly...
EMDR can help you Achieve: Be a better athlete, singer, or cowgirl.
We all want to achieve something. When I was eight, I wanted to be a cowgirl. This never happened, but if it had, I imagine EMDR would help me achieve my team roping goals and stay fit for the arena. EMDR therapy helps people recover from trauma, relationship stress,...
Managing the Mirrors: How to Stay Calm When the World is in Chaos
People ask me, “How do you do what you do and stay calm? How do you not go crazy with all the stories you absorb from people who are hurting?” I say, “Sometimes I do go crazy.” I’m not immune to people’s stress and it can make me crazy tired…..Which is why I...
How to Know when it’s Time to Say Goodbye
I have trouble letting go. Mostly when it comes to saying goodbye to unbalanced relationships. You know, the kind where you feel you should be helpful but no amount of help seems to make a difference? So here are some thoughts about change and letting go of what no...
Hands are Not for Hitting: Let’s End Corporal Punishment
Hands are Not for Hitting (and not for Shoving, Slapping, Swatting, Pinching, Jerking, or "Spanking"). We read this book to my son when he was three. Hands help and love and wave goodbye. Hands paint and cook and communicate. But some adults still use their hands for...
I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse
Something tells me I'm a very bad person. Under the bridge.....beneath, “It’s my fault,” lives a more troubling idea...It hides in us like a troll under a bridge. Anyone who's survived religious abuse knows the old thought-training dies hard. Jim teaches art to...
It Must be My Fault
“It Must be My Fault” Beth gets the guilt like a reflex if anything goes wrong…..Especially if it involves her partner or her kids. “If Stuart’s in a bad mood, I assume it has something to do with me.” She feels responsible for her divorce. “If I had been calmer and...
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