Friends Who are Different and a Little Bit Scary Make Us Grow Unexpected friendship teaches us, like nothing else. When I arrived at Texas Woman's University in 1990, I found myself immersed in growth and diversity. I suddenly had gay and lesbian friends, after growing up in a culture that forbid same-sex relationships. (They existed, … Continue reading Moving from Religious Trauma into Soul Healing, Part IV: Diverse Friendships
Relational Cultural Theory
Every Therapist Needs a Tribe
How do you do it? . . . . . . People often say. How can a therapist sit with people who are in pain, hour after hour, day after day, and concentrate on how to help them feel better, while keeping themselves balanced? I usually say, "Tons of self care." And that's true. To … Continue reading Every Therapist Needs a Tribe
Our Flaws Make Us Interesting: EMDR Makes Them Funny
Maybe our flaws even make us lovable. My Flaws I have a few characteristics of which I’m not proud. Most of them fall into the category of "uptightness" . . . fear and shame and rigidity. Before EMDR, I would not have written this post for fear of public ridicule. First, I have this judgmental … Continue reading Our Flaws Make Us Interesting: EMDR Makes Them Funny
Still Recovering from Toxic Religion: Pass That Buick in Love
Here's a story about being inspired and suppressing it. This morning I got behind a slow-moving Buick on a major thoroughfare. I encountered the same dark green Buick, ten minutes before, when I was crossing a downtown street. On foot, I got up close and looked inside at three senior women - all probably in … Continue reading Still Recovering from Toxic Religion: Pass That Buick in Love
Political Despair? Focus on the Journey.
You’re safe. I’m writing to you: my Republican and Democrat and Independent friends . . . my companions on this journey. A series of conversations yesterday made me realize: We’re all stressed by the changes . . . yes, all of us. If you lean to the right . . . you see masses protesting … Continue reading Political Despair? Focus on the Journey.
Voice Medicine: Connect & Create Change
Saturday was Voice Medicine for me. Not only did I march and yell, I connected with thousands (millions) of others and said, We All Belong Here. It countered the heavy weight of worry and dread I’d been feeling for the last two and a half months (maybe longer), made me feel lighter, less alone, more powerful, … Continue reading Voice Medicine: Connect & Create Change
Leadership Monologues: Take Back the L Word
Leadership (said with a sneer) I hate the word, “Leader.” It’s lost every shred of meaning it once held for me. Leadership once meant authority and concern for the welfare of everyone in its reach. Now it sounds like a fake word with fake facts to support its nothingness. A poser, posing as a real … Continue reading Leadership Monologues: Take Back the L Word
The Air We Breathe: Panic, Mental Health, & Misogyny
, Woman-Hate=Mostly Unconscious Fear of Women’s Empowerment. One day, in 1992, I had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere. I got up early and dressed for work, made breakfast and started a load of laundry, turned on the morning news while I finished my hair and my (ex) partner snored peacefully. I stood … Continue reading The Air We Breathe: Panic, Mental Health, & Misogyny
Stuck in the Pigeonhole Vs. Becoming More of You
Okay, everybody. Here's a little quiz. Consider List 1 and check all that apply to you: A good daughter □ Married to one mate, for life □ A good provider □ A sweet girl □ Skinny □ Happily married □ A good Democrat □ A good Republican □ A dutiful son □ Law-abiding citizen □ A … Continue reading Stuck in the Pigeonhole Vs. Becoming More of You
Relationship Disconnect: How it affects our health.
Everyone I love needs to read these four books. The Birth of Pleasure, Carol Gilligan The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron Proof of Heaven, Eben Alexander How Connections Heal, Maureen Walker & Wendy Rosen (Eds.) These books have all changed my life. But today, I want to focus on #4. How Connections Heal is written for … Continue reading Relationship Disconnect: How it affects our health.