Moving from Religious Trauma into Soul Healing, Part II: Meditation

 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShellyClayspot?ref=l2-shopheader-name

What is Meditation?

Meditation trains our minds to focus on the present moment, to be aware of our thoughts and feelings, and to observe our whole experience in a mindful way. It’s any practice that fosters mindfulness.

I’ve practiced daily meditation for the last year and a half, and it’s changed me. In fact, I hardly know where to begin describing how it’s opened my awareness and allowed me to know more who I really am.

Meditation calms me and raises my overall energy (vibration). It gently guides me back from my tangle of thoughts and emotions – and into stillness. There, I find a deep connection with my higher self, my inner light . . . call it ultimate wisdom, call it God.

This connection feels very much like a place.

Is Meditation like Prayer?

It depends on how you think of prayer. I remember being taught to work hard at it: first with a list of thank-you’s – then a list of wants – followed by an acknowledgement of how I don’t deserve any of it.

When I meditate, I do the opposite of hard work. I get very calm and still. When my mind wanders, which it always does, I guide it back to my breathing or the sounds around me. I’m not there to genuflect or ask for things. I’m there to rest in focus.

But once I’m there, the practice turns into a kind of prayer: a very open, receptive state where I’m allowing this life and its abundance to live through me.

“But I’ve tried Meditation, and it doesn’t work for me”.

I recommend meditation for all my clients because it helps create inspired change. But many people say they just can’t do it. Their minds wander too much. They can’t quiet the noise in their heads. They can’t afford the time or sit still long enough. To this, I say:

Meditation is for everyone.

It’s a gift from the universe that we can all access.

No matter how scattered and fidgety you feel, meditation practice meets you where you are and helps you gradually become calmer, more grounded, more in touch with your truth.

Meditation Transforms Trauma into Deep Soul Healing

Tara Brach talks about how meditation works to heal trauma generally. Others have written about Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome and how adding a bit of Buddism or other tradition can replace old guilt and worry with new gratitude and calm.

In my early religious training, the world was very small. As my mind expanded, I needed a bigger vessel for my spiritual experience than any one tradition could offer.

Meditation changes my religious trauma by expanding the spiritual space around me, putting all prior experiences into context, creating a bigger bowl for my growing sense of universal consciousness and wisdom.

Bigger Bowl = More Room for  Spiritual Expansion = More Growth

Resources to Get You Started

So as not to overwhelm you, here are just a few bits that I think will help you get started. Take what’s useful and leave the rest.

  1. A great blog post by Andy Puddicombe, founder of Headspace. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-puddicombe/finding-time-to-meditate_b_7338158.html
  2. A really good teacher. https://www.tarabrach.com/
  3. An app that has it all. https://insighttimer.com/
Contact Deborah Read Wife Material

Ready to Receive: A Valentine’s Mindset

I just learned something: getting more of what we want happens when we shift into the right mindset to receive . . . Receiving Mode. We want intimacy, creativity, close friendships, satisfying work, a healthy family . . . a healthy community, nation, and world. Receiving Mode allows us to draw the right people, situations, and energy to us, creating the opportunities and relationships that ring all our bells and generate happiness all around us. Life is chock full of miracles and love.

I sort of knew this part. But I forgot, in the heart-stomping of this historical moment.

Here’s what I just learned: we practice Receiving Mode by getting a scalp massage. When we spend time in Receiving Mode, doing easy, our feet in the grass – our faces to the sunshine, we get ready to receive. As we get ready, those happy outcomes, love, beauty, friends, and even money, flow naturally toward us.

So in honor of St. Valentine, patron saint of happy couples, I make a new kind of to-do list, to get us ready to receive love.

  1. Get a pedicure (doing this right now).
  2. Go outside and breathe.
  3. Meditate 10 minutes before bedtime.
  4. Walk for pleasure in a beautiful place.
  5. Sit with our furry friends.
  6. Get some EMDR therapy.
  7. Do nothing. Stretch. Do more of nothing.
  8. Stare at the moon and know it’s a personal gift.
  9. Do a little yoga.
  10. Get out the watercolors and mix a new shade.
  11. Close our eyes and listen to Mendelssohn.
  12. Make a list of our favorite people.

Get ready to receive your heart’s desire. Even if you can’t see it now. Get ready. It’s coming. You are loved. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Contact Deborah

Affirmations for Healing Spiritual Abuse

 

flowerpots

Spiritual abuse includes any kind of religious teaching or practice that diminishes your human rights, isolates you from the wider world, or systematically places you in positions of low power. I modeled these affirmations for healing spiritual abuse on those found in Jessica and Nick Ortner’s The Tapping Solution courses. Say them aloud or read them silently as you tap your body, gently, in a left-right-left-right motion: on the outsides of your knees, the outer edge of your eyes, your temples, your collarbone, and under your arms. You can also watch a tapping demo here.

  • Even though I have hurt places inside; and even though this old hurt causes me pain today; I love and accept myself.
  • Even though I still carry old hurt from my childhood; and even though I still feel this old hurt in my anxiety, my depression, my shame, my difficulty with relationships; I love and accept myself.
  • Even though old teaching made me feel I wasn’t good enough, I see goodness in me and I know I am enough.
  • Even though that old teaching made me feel shameful and unlovable, I now know I am good and lovable.
  • Even though the old message taught me not to make myself a priority, I now realize I need to first be aware of my feelings and my needs – so that I can care for myself. I now realize I must care for myself first.
  • Even though the old message made me feel insignificant, I now see that I matter.
  • Even though the old message taught me that I wasn’t inherently lovable, I now know that I am lovable. I deserve to be loved and nurtured.
  • And even though I still sometimes feel ashamed of my needs, ashamed of my feelings; I know that my need for love, touch, validation, rest, emotional expression, and understanding are an essential part of being alive.
  • I don’t always know what to do about the part of me that still hurts; I worry I will always have this pain; I wish I could be the person I’ve always wanted to be, but the fear and anxiety keep me stuck in old ways of seeing myself, stuck in old ways of feeling and moving about in the world.
  • Maybe I can let go of the fear.
  • Maybe I can trust my inner wisdom.
  • Maybe I already have the solution to all that old pain inside me.
  • I now open my awareness to Divine wisdom and love.
  • I open my awareness to who I really am.
  • Even though I’ve been so busy trying to be someone else’s version of me; I start to recognize my true self now.
  • My true inner self loves unconditionally.
  • My true inner self knows everything about me, and still loves me.
  • My true inner self knows what I’ve been through and understands my pain.
  • My true inner self helps me grow.
  • My true inner self connects me with Divine love, wisdom, and creation.
  • I accept my true inner self and I allow it to become more and more familiar to me.
  • Even though I haven’t always been in touch with this part of me, my true inner self keeps me company and nudges me toward higher consciousness and calm.
  • My true inner self helps me move toward greater awareness and creativity.
  • My true inner self understands me completely and knows the wisdom of every part of my life and being.

My novel, Wife Material, tells the story of one girl who exits spiritual abuse and says yes to her true inner self . . . which changes everything.

Read Wife Material