Relax and be an Imperfect Parent

  Imperfect Parenting We're imperfect parents, but we so want to get it right.  Am I providing enough security? Am I being consistent? Will he absorb my disappointment in myself? Will he absorb my anxiety? Am I telling her enough of what she needs to hear? Will she be self-conscious like me? We try to … Continue reading Relax and be an Imperfect Parent

Lessons in Relational Justice, I

What is Relational Justice? I just watched Michael Moore’s (2016) film, Where to Invade Next. It's all about Relational Justice. In the two-hour movie, Moore visits eight countries to steal good ideas and bring them back to the U.S. He also raises some questions that have been with me all day. What caused our country … Continue reading Lessons in Relational Justice, I

Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

I Write to Grow Up I struggle to differentiate, as we all do. Leaving home is a lifelong process, as described by Murray Bowen, the father of family systems theory. But writing my novel, Wife Material, about the process of leaving home, catapulted me forward. That’s why I so recommend life-writing as part of trauma … Continue reading Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

Nonviolent Parenting: 10 Reasons to Avoid Corporal Punishment

Okay, I need to talk about something that really pisses me off. "I got spanked and I turned out just fine." People who say this, in defense of old school parenting advice, usually prove my point, cluelessly. They hold a tight little view of the world. They stay unaware of their deeper emotions. They resent … Continue reading Nonviolent Parenting: 10 Reasons to Avoid Corporal Punishment

The Submissive Wife: How This Role Damages Boys (and Girls)

How do I keep my son from growing up to be a jerk? How do I help him become egalitarian?  Great question: How do we raise boys to share power in relationships? The answer lies in your willingness to share power in your own relationships. The "submissive wife" sounds like the title of a porn movie … Continue reading The Submissive Wife: How This Role Damages Boys (and Girls)