I’m a Total Failure: Transform Multi-generational Guilt and Shame

I'm a Failure. If I weren’t so lazy, I’d be more financially stable. If I was a better daughter, my parents would still be together. If I were thinner, my husband would have sex with me. If I weren’t so angry, I’d have friends. If I’d worked harder in my 20s, I’d have a great … Continue reading I’m a Total Failure: Transform Multi-generational Guilt and Shame

Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt

  My clients report LOTS of guilt. Guilt over everything . . . being a rebellious teen (thirty years ago) . . . failing to protect their children from unforeseen tragedies . . . eating desserts . . . not living up to their potential . . . breaking someone’s heart . . . flying … Continue reading Find Your G-Spot: Healthy versus Coercive Guilt

I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse

Something tells me I'm a very bad person.   Under the bridge.....beneath, “It’s my fault,” lives a more troubling idea...It hides in us like a troll under a bridge. Anyone who's survived religious abuse knows the old thought-training dies hard. Jim teaches art to high-schoolers. He lives with his wife of thirty years – the … Continue reading I Must be a Bad Person: Recovering from Religious Abuse

It Must be My Fault

“It Must be My Fault” Beth gets the guilt like a reflex if anything goes wrong…..Especially if it involves her partner or her kids. “If Stuart’s in a bad mood, I assume it has something to do with me.” She feels responsible for her divorce. “If I had been calmer and less upset, we might … Continue reading It Must be My Fault

Step Away From the Dog House: Love, Guilt, and Imperfection

Max says, "I need to get help or I'm going to lose my family." Max feels like a failure as a mate and as a father. At age 45, he works 60 hours a week to provide his family's comfortable lifestyle. He coaches kids' soccer teams. He takes his wife on an annual cruise. He … Continue reading Step Away From the Dog House: Love, Guilt, and Imperfection