Uber Calm in a Narcissistic World

Several years ago, I did a talk for a local GLBT advocacy group. I stood at the front of a large meeting room and talked about discrimination and ignorance, the need for education. A topic I lectured on every week in my classes. But in the middle of my presentation, not one, but two bullies, … Continue reading Uber Calm in a Narcissistic World

Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

I Write to Grow Up I struggle to differentiate, as we all do. Leaving home is a lifelong process, as described by Murray Bowen, the father of family systems theory. But writing my novel, Wife Material, about the process of leaving home, catapulted me forward. That’s why I so recommend life-writing as part of trauma … Continue reading Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

Differentiate and Help your Parents Grow Up.

Depression and Stuckness Lately, my fifteen-year-old tells me I am too rigid and he no longer believes in anything I believe in. It makes me a little weepy to hear this, but it challenges me to let go of my pre-planned images of how he would grow up. If I tried too hard to control … Continue reading Differentiate and Help your Parents Grow Up.

Stages of Spiritual Development: Rebellion Saves Lives

Rebellion Saves Lives: How acts of disobedience preserve the real you. I loathe meetings. Most meetings bore the crap out of me and make me want to stand up and scream. Several years ago, when I worked as a university professor, I rebelled and stopped going to departmental faculty meetings. I did this out of … Continue reading Stages of Spiritual Development: Rebellion Saves Lives

Healthy Break Rule-breaking for Trauma Therapy and Family Psychology

What does rebellion have to do with depression? What does it have to do with trauma recovery or family psychology? Rebellion is active. It changes things. It forces a new perspective. Rebellion gets you moving, which fights depression. Rebellion causes you to think on your feet. It provides just enough confusion to force you into … Continue reading Healthy Break Rule-breaking for Trauma Therapy and Family Psychology

Springfield, MO Psychologist: Disobey Your Mother to Survive

Healthy Rebellion, Part 2: Why You Must Disobey Your Mother if you Want to Survive I am a Springfield, MO Psychologist and published author. But, I am also a mother. I get it. Mothers create structure and nurture. We tell you what to do. We train, disapprove, lecture, and reward. Because we adore you. Because … Continue reading Springfield, MO Psychologist: Disobey Your Mother to Survive