Our Flaws Make Us Interesting: EMDR Makes Them Funny

Maybe our flaws even make us lovable. My Flaws I have a few characteristics of which I’m not proud. Most of them fall into the category of "uptightness" . . . fear and shame and rigidity. Before EMDR, I would not have written this post for fear of public ridicule. First, I have this judgmental … Continue reading Our Flaws Make Us Interesting: EMDR Makes Them Funny

Relax and be an Imperfect Parent

  Imperfect Parenting We're imperfect parents, but we so want to get it right.  Am I providing enough security? Am I being consistent? Will he absorb my disappointment in myself? Will he absorb my anxiety? Am I telling her enough of what she needs to hear? Will she be self-conscious like me? We try to … Continue reading Relax and be an Imperfect Parent

Lessons in Relational Justice, I

What is Relational Justice? I just watched Michael Moore’s (2016) film, Where to Invade Next. It's all about Relational Justice. In the two-hour movie, Moore visits eight countries to steal good ideas and bring them back to the U.S. He also raises some questions that have been with me all day. What caused our country … Continue reading Lessons in Relational Justice, I

Be More Self-Centered and Save the World

What does it mean to be self centered? Your Self is your wise spiritual center. But outside this center, we live under a weighted blanket of stress and uncertainty, threatened by darkness and greed from all angles. We feel disconnected from neighbors and afraid of people on the other side of the philosophical aisle. 18% … Continue reading Be More Self-Centered and Save the World

Transform Holiday Stress into Mindful Rest & Giving

Until recently, I resented the holidays. As in, Already???? We just did this, right? Except the years when my son believed in Santa and we put together tricycles and trains, after his bedtime, under the synthetic Douglas Fir, I got a sinking anxious dread just before Thanksgiving that let up after January first. Holiday stress separated … Continue reading Transform Holiday Stress into Mindful Rest & Giving

The Air We Breathe: Panic, Mental Health, & Misogyny

, Woman-Hate=Mostly Unconscious Fear of Women’s Empowerment. One day, in 1992, I had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere. I got up early and dressed for work, made breakfast and started a load of laundry, turned on the morning news while I finished my hair and my (ex) partner snored peacefully. I stood … Continue reading The Air We Breathe: Panic, Mental Health, & Misogyny

Affirmations for Healing Spiritual Abuse

  Spiritual abuse includes any kind of religious teaching or practice that diminishes your human rights, isolates you from the wider world, or systematically places you in positions of low power. I modeled these affirmations for healing spiritual abuse on those found in Jessica and Nick Ortner’s The Tapping Solution courses. Say them aloud or read … Continue reading Affirmations for Healing Spiritual Abuse

Loathing, Lust, & Longing: Why We Obsess so Much

My son amazes me. He has his obsessions, but they're about his music, his philosophizing. He’s so different from the adolescent me of thirty-five years ago. He’s calmer and freer to learn. He’s funny, and takes creative risks with language. He accepts people with all their weirdness. At his age, I worried a lot. I … Continue reading Loathing, Lust, & Longing: Why We Obsess so Much

Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

I Write to Grow Up I struggle to differentiate, as we all do. Leaving home is a lifelong process, as described by Murray Bowen, the father of family systems theory. But writing my novel, Wife Material, about the process of leaving home, catapulted me forward. That’s why I so recommend life-writing as part of trauma … Continue reading Leaving Home to Find My Higher (Grownup) Self

Keep it Moving: Exercise for a Body/Mind Makeover

I have a dream coming true. It involves exercise, EMDR, and the blending of health and creativity. I’ll soon open an office downtown. In a Pilates studio. More details to come, but here's why I think it makes sense to do my EMDR therapy in a fitness studio, surrounded by instructors who understand how to … Continue reading Keep it Moving: Exercise for a Body/Mind Makeover